No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
