Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize