Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
