Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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