Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize