So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize