why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
