Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
