The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
