Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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