The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
