I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
