Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize