I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
