i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize