Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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