I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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