Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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