im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
