what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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