wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
