And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
