well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
