Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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