Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
