I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
