On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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