you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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