if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
did you just send me my own nude
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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