It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
