he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
