Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
