This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
