He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize