I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i've created a new STD.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
