so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
