u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This house was built for laser tag.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
