just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
