real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I want to make a zoo with you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
