Its about making memories worth repressing
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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