The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I lost the right to judge tonight
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
