how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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