Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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