okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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