O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
