just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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