Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
