is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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