my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
