OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
