So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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