I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
