Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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