Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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