Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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