take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
