That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
