If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
