I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
