At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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