He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
