The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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