yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
