He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize