Don't you send me to vm
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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