i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
