He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he's gonorrhea incarnate
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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